im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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