this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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