Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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