Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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