my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
