umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this just has baby written all over it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
