Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
