How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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