CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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