Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
