somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
