Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
