Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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