what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
