I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Randomize
