if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize