Duck Duck Cougar?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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