did you get engaged???
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
