you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
