It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
