I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
