Dual....:-)
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
