I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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