I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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