we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
