I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
