I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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