Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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