Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
