I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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