He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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