so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
