i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
