I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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