I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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