hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
