Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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