put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
