Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I want to be your penis for a week.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
