Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
