Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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