dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
