I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
