drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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