my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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