R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How external is "for external use only"?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
