think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
