the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
