just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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