He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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