I'm so fucking centered right now
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
