kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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