I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
