If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
