I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
