I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
