His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
