Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
