bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
